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If I lose my mind before meeting the love of my life, tell her I said, “Hi”;
Also, please make sure she knows cancer isn’t caused by Red 40 in food dye;
And it’s probably better you don’t tell her I died, that’s lame, just lie;
Say something cool, like I flew to Cancun with my boys but never arrived.
She doesn’t have to know that none of “my boys” desire a trip to Cancun;
Or that sometimes I anxiety-vomit at work in the afternoons;
She won’t care about my sordid relationship with pills and ice cream;
Just please, please don’t mention the women I date who are all still married.
You can tell her kindergarten-age me once stole a Power Rangers shirt;
From a kid who laughed at me during recess when I fell into the dirt;
I wore my brand new drip on the bus ride home proudly since I deserved it;
But when Dad saw the shirt, I confessed, and he made me return it.
That was the day I learned about the risk-to-reward ratio of telling a lie;
And why we all pick and choose what we tell people throughout our lives;
So if in fact you meet bae before me, you don’t have to lie after, “Hi”;
Tell her I was super cute, funny, and overall just a really great guy.